On Saturday we will celebrate 11 years of marriage. Over the course of those 11 years we have had many crazy adventures together, we have moved several times, we have owned and rented multiple houses and apartments, we had kids, we have purchased cars, and we have traveled. But...moving to Germany was by far the craziest thing we have done in those years.
A couple years back now my husband was on a routine trip in Germany, when I called him about something (details lacking). He stepped away from his dinner and said "You will not believe what I was just asked!" Well...What? "I was just asked to come and do an expat assignment in Germany!" And for some crazy reason that we will never know, without giving it any thought I said "ok, tell them yes!"
Thus begin the preparation, and negations for us to move. (Now here I will be honest) Moving is stressful under the best circumstances. Moving is more stressful the further the move. Moving is most stressful when you’re moving half way across the world. When we moved we decided (dumb us) to send Scott a month early and the kids and I would follow later (more stress). So on June 5, 2011 we packed up our entire home, prepared ourselves for Scott to leave, and we moved in with friends. At this point in my crazy life it was safe to say that I had lost my mind and was living an out of body experience!
On July1, 2011 we arrived here! I was exhausted, hating the language gap, and we had nothing but what was in our suitcases! After a short weekend my husband went back to work, leaving our scared little self’s alone in Germany! I was a mess, than 9 days later our stuff was due to arrive and our moving company went bankrupt. All our stuff was MIA! I was a disaster! Yes, at this point we were 15 days from our 10th wedding anniversary I was a crazy, messy, disaster and my husband was at work! Classic!
Well, things can only get better, right? Actually there are so many humps in living the expat life that it took us awhile. We had to learn how to change not only ourselves but the actual way in which our marriage worked. See, I went from working part-time and having a ton of friends to a stay at home mom, alone...ALL DAY. I went from handling all the household matters to needing my husband to call, because it was either in our contract or because I didn't know what to say! My husband went to work every day, but at this point only understanding 25-40% of what people said! By the time he got home he was to exhausted to do much of anything! Yes, crazy, half asleep, lonely married couple!
Around November the skies began to clear...I started German lessons, and made friends. My husband started running (for exercise) and understanding daily life better. Thus our marriage became easier. By this point we had learned to rely on each other, to listen to each other, and to realize that most days we are the only English speaking person each other knows! See in our case one of the most difficult parts of being a married expat couple is the consent time together, without much quality time together.
Which brings us to today...We aren't the most romantic couple or the most serious couple, but man do we have fun! We by no means are masters at this marriage thing, we don’t proclaim to know it all. We would actually be honest and say that what we do know about marriage we have learned through trial and error. Living here, living has expats can be exhausting on a marriage, but what we have learned has made not only our lives richer, but our love. Our adventures over the last 11 years have brought us here, who knows where they will bring us in the future, but what I do know is that we will do it has only crazy, messy, half asleep yet totally in love people can.
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