Married life of crazy, out of their minds, in love expats

On Saturday we will celebrate 11 years of marriage. Over the course of those 11 years we have had many crazy adventures together, we have moved several times, we have owned and rented multiple houses and apartments, we had kids, we have purchased cars, and we have traveled. But...moving to Germany was by far the craziest thing we have done in those years.

A couple years back now my husband was on a routine trip in Germany, when I called him about something (details lacking). He stepped away from his dinner and said "You will not believe what I was just asked!" Well...What? "I was just asked to come and do an expat assignment in Germany!" And for some crazy reason that we will never know, without giving it any thought I said "ok, tell them yes!"

Thus begin the preparation, and negations for us to move. (Now here I will be honest) Moving is stressful under the best circumstances. Moving is more stressful the further the move. Moving is most stressful when you’re moving half way across the world. When we moved we decided (dumb us) to send Scott a month early and the kids and I would follow later (more stress). So on June 5, 2011 we packed up our entire home, prepared ourselves for Scott to leave, and we moved in with friends. At this point in my crazy life it was safe to say that I had lost my mind and was living an out of body experience!

On July1, 2011 we arrived here! I was exhausted, hating the language gap, and we had nothing but what was in our suitcases! After a short weekend my husband went back to work, leaving our scared little self’s alone in Germany! I was a mess, than 9 days later our stuff was due to arrive and our moving company went bankrupt. All our stuff was MIA! I was a disaster! Yes, at this point we were 15 days from our 10th wedding anniversary I was a crazy, messy, disaster and my husband was at work! Classic!

Well, things can only get better, right? Actually there are so many humps in living the expat life that it took us awhile. We had to learn how to change not only ourselves but the actual way in which our marriage worked. See, I went from working part-time and having a ton of friends to a stay at home mom, alone...ALL DAY. I went from handling all the household matters to needing my husband to call, because it was either in our contract or because I didn't know what to say! My husband went to work every day, but at this point only understanding 25-40% of what people said! By the time he got home he was to exhausted to do much of anything! Yes, crazy, half asleep, lonely married couple!

Around November the skies began to clear...I started German lessons, and made friends. My husband started running (for exercise) and understanding daily life better. Thus our marriage became easier. By this point we had learned to rely on each other, to listen to each other, and to realize that most days we are the only English speaking person each other knows! See in our case one of the most difficult parts of being a married expat couple is the consent time together, without much quality time together.

Which brings us to today...We aren't the most romantic couple or the most serious couple, but man do we have fun! We by no means are masters at this marriage thing, we don’t proclaim to know it all. We would actually be honest and say that what we do know about marriage we have learned through trial and error. Living here, living has expats can be exhausting on a marriage, but what we have learned has made not only our lives richer, but our love. Our adventures over the last 11 years have brought us here, who knows where they will bring us in the future, but what I do know is that we will do it has only crazy, messy, half asleep yet totally in love people can.

Time keeps on ticking

When things change...

As a child time passes without much realization. Years are simply marked by Birthday's, school events, and Christmas. As a child the years can slip by without much acknowledgement. A child takes the passing of time by only truly tangible moments. Being an expat is similar.

See, in my opinion being an expat we too mark time in tangible chunks. We mark the time of the current world we live in, however a weird paradox happens and the time in the past "home" location begins to freeze. We see ourselves and the space around us change, but the place we left behind remains as it was in our visit, stay, or picture.

I am not saying that expat's are forgetful people who avoided Birthday's and holidays but rather people who celebrate lacking the tactile, visual knowledge of the passing of time.  We are stuck in a time warp. For example the notion of a death in the family, we miss the sickness, the hurt, the saying our goodbyes, what we have is the last time we saw someone and the news of death. Even on a lighter note, take life. The last time we saw "you," you weren't married and now you’re pregnant with you first child. Time has passed without us noticing.

The same freeze happens in reverse. As expats we hop on a plane and move away, and we begin growing and changing. "Your” life continues, however when we visit or move back the shocking moment occurs when that 8 year old we moved with is now a moody teenager. Or better yet, "we" (not me) had a baby.

Time ticks on a clock but in actuality time passes only as we acknowledge it. Time stands still when we hold it as a memory and not an experience. I write this simply to explain that as expats we miss you, and have not forgotten you, we just may have forgotten things change in our absence.

Das Radio

I have always been a huge fan of music, really all music! This is a good thing, because here in Deutschland the radio stations play a variety of music! It's not you American variety "Now playing hits from the 90's and Today," or your typical "80's Lunch Hour." No, in Germany radio is more of a smorgasbord.

This morning has I got "Jiggy With It," (thank you Will Smith for this timeless piece) I thought it is time to share my love of German radio with the world! Yes, German radio has to all. However, as much as this will disappoint most American's I have yet to hear anything by David Hasselhoff (The Hoff).

Here you can tune in (my favorite is Energy 100.7)to any channel and during any one hour hear Adele, Pink, Linkin Park, Snoop Dog (old school), Time Bendzko (German artist), Elton John, Richard Marx, and Survivor. My personal favorite is the daily parade of Phil Collins hits, who knew the man had so many! There is also the collection of I can't believe they still play that song; Hangin Tough, Blame it on the Rain, and I'm too Sexy.

For an American it almost feels like a daily "This is your life" compellation. Start your morning with a little Boss (Bruce Springsteen, for the younger generation), Wham, and John Mellencamp. Then while cooking you can mix it up with a little bit of Pat Benatar, Phil Collins, and quickly moving into Sarah McLachlan, N' Sync, Maroon 5, Train, and the ever random rap artist (I am out of touch here). And by the evening you have heard a song from just about every year since 1985.

Music is truly an international language that reaches to the far ends of the earth. Music last a life time and affects some people differently. In the case of German radio music is timeless, and enjoyed by generations to come! So if your online (listen on the web) or over sea's and looking for a new experience tune in.

Btw: I also love a couple stations out of the UK, and Australia so if you have some free time check them out!

Traditions

"The concept of tradition, as the notion of holding on to a previous time"

As a child I always loved holiday movies that valued or placed emphasis on tradition! I always wanted to be one of those families (The Brady's, The Cosby's, and The Keaton's)! The ones that had these little or big ways of celebrating moments in life! I was blessed to have fallen in love with a man that loves tradition as much as I do, and to meet friends that have brought new traditions into my (our) lives!

Before we moved we had tons of traditions...First Day of school photo's, Birthday Presents at breakfast, Halloween pumpkin carving, Half Birthday's (taken from my girls), Gingerbread houses, and last day of school ice cream. However, when you move to a foreign location things kind of change and traditions have to become more flexible. Traditions become harder! So, the task becomes to find new ways of fulfilling traditions, and new traditions!

One year ago a bewilder family set off to discover a fireworks festival in the park. Dazed and surprisingly still jet lagged we watched, and enjoyed. Last night we return to the fireworks. Last night was the start of a tradition; we realized how fondly we held that moment a year ago in our memories. We realized how far we had come. We realized how much we enjoyed that time together...We realized that we were creating new traditions (here in Germany) with our kids!

So, I ask what traditions your family celebrates.

Vacation Dreams

Dreams really do come true. 15 years ago I had my first date with my husband of 11 years. On that first date we talked endlessly about our hopes, our dreams, and our goals! We talked about jobs we wanted to have, where we wanted to live, and the vacations we would love to take! 15 years later; to the date we boarded a plane to our dream location Ireland! We had hoped that someday after student loans, babies, and house payments we would wash up on the shores of the Irish coast, but because of this crazy expat assignment it was actually happening!

We arrived in Ireland with preconceived notions of golf courses, endless ocean views, an almost Hamptons like impression! We were pleased to be greeted with the real Ireland, a beautiful mixer of old and new, of funk and class, of peace and tranquility, and the small under tones of the rebellion! Yes, Ireland!  I can now clearly say that Ireland is an amazing country made so by its rich past and its friendly citizens!

We choose to spend the majority of our time in Ireland at a remote cottage just north west of Kilmore Quay. The perfect location to unplug and relax. I say unplug because we actually went a whole week with no internet, only 60% of Irish households have internet.  We had everything there we could possibly need if we just wanted to hang out, however we wanted to explore! When we left we had goals of endless exploration in Ireland but simply put the car rides were killer! Not only were we driving on the other side (wrong side of the road), the roads were filled with tight twist and turns, with farm equipment, and people every so often. Driving was much more of an experience than we plan! So we quickly changed the plan, no drives beyond 2 hours!

Even with that new rule, we still had tons to see and do! Day one we ventured to Kilmore Quay, marketed as a scenic fishing village, is right on! This town had amazing views, old ships, and traditional built houses!

Day Two was a crazy day first we headed to the Rock of Cashel, built in 1100 has the original seat for the kings of Munster; this is site is breath taking. Even though for the last 30 years it has been under continuous refurbishment it is worth the trip! Than as we worked our way back we stopped off in Waterford (home of the famous Waterford crystal). We loved the quaint city streets, and the children friendly Viking museum; however I think my kids would tell you that they loved the Papa John’s Pizza (a taste of America)!

Day Three it rained, and of course this was the day reserved for horseback riding on the beach! As the young Irish lady said to me...”If we didn’t go out in the rain we would never go out!” So we went horseback riding! I loved the small farm that we went to and would highly recommend the The Liosín Centre in Rosslare. We had a blast getting wet and taking the children on their first ride! After that we blasted the heat in the car to dry off and headed to the city of Wexford! A great sea side town with tons of little shops to poke into on a raining day! After a couple hours we were just too cold, we stopped at the store and headed to the cottage for Taco Night in Ireland! We curled up, dried off, played board games, and watched Johnny English! Our cabin was home for those 7 hours!

Day 4 the sun was brilliant! Outside day! All day! We loaded up snacks and drinks and were off to Hook Head light house! The oldest lighthouse in the world! This is Irelands gem, it wasn’t filled with tourist, the tour was awesome, and the views were lovely! After seeing the water we were all ready to play in it, beach time! Duncannon beach was great, not as busy as others closer to the Hotels and we came at low tide so the beach was vast! The kids played, and explored, they even braved the cold water for a sand dune 50 meters out! Than lunch and the heritage ship (great for kids) in New Ross and then more exploring at the JFK arboretum (pack a picnic if you ever go)! Finally a tasty dinner at the Ferrycarrige Hotel!

Day 5 was Kilkenny! A large city outside Dublin and yet such a warm friendly city! The castle is the center point of Kilkenny, as it should be! Here you are able to walk/run the grounds for free, but stay off the grass! The Castle is open for exploration, and is worth the fee! My kids loved the library, and all the books are real, we asked! We also visited Jerpoint Abbey (a great spot for kids with their own treasure hunt to occupy kids), Black Abbey, and the Rothe House (here my kids got to collect duck eggs)! We loved Kilkenny and felt that the city and surrounding area were well worth the trip!

On Day 6 we explored Bray and the small sea life center, before we headed to lunch and tour at the Guinness Storehouse in Dublin! This is the number 1 tourist attraction in Ireland, dubbed the Disney for beer lovers! We enjoyed our visit, it was fun, it was tasty, and it even kept the kids attention! I am still not a fan of the beer, but did love my husband’s smile! Exhausted we made the drive to Powerscourt Garden and waterfall! One last stop! This was a very expensive detour, albeit beautiful but costly! The waterfall is the tallest on Ireland and the UK, and is stunning to watch! Finally, a stop at the Avoca fresh market for dinner fixings, and back to the cottage for our last night!

Day 7, we said good bye to Scar Bridge Cottage in tears and headed to Dublin for one last adventure! When we got there the girls jumped out to see Trinity College and shop while the boys head off to Kilmainhan jail! We met up after lunch to shop more, visit St. Patrick’s Cathedral (they also had a hunt for kids, we learned a ton) and enjoyed dinner at the Hard Rock (an expat must)!

15 years ago Ireland was just a dream of a small town girl! Today Ireland is a memory that my family will have forever! If you have ever thought about visiting Ireland I encourage you to grab your raincoat and boots and go! Soak in all the warmth the region has to offer!